I should mention as a precursor the this blog entry that in 1999-2000 I participated in a year-long study abroad program in Nepal. It was decidedly one of the most formative years of my life, and yet it has taken me almost ten years to return. During that time, I mostly stayed with a Nepali family. When I made plans to return to Kathmandu this summer, I contacted them and they insisted that I stay at their house, which I was quite happy to do.
Coming back wasn't exactly what I had expect. It'd sort of be like moving back in with your parents after being gone for ten years, except that they speak a language that you barely remember (but thankfully has come back fairly quickly). And they have money issues that they tell you about daily. And they don't knock on the doors before coming in, and if you lock the door, they might have the servant girl climb out on the window ledge to tell you something. And any time you're at the house they want to feed you (which is a sort of a plus). And when you leave the house, then random people want to talk to you. My American need for anonymity and personal space is being smothered by cultural curiosity.
These are all things that the years had softened in my memories of this place. But I have also forgotten so many small aspects of daily life that I love out here. The sense of hospitality, the slow evenings, the pleasure hosts have in making sure their guest is over-full with food, the openness to strangers. In a lot of ways I'm going through the same culture shock I went through 10 years ago. Only now I'm 30. (!)
But Kathmandu has also changed quite a bit in the last ten years. My old house, which used to be on the outskirts of town and in the middle of rice paddies, is now surrounded by houses, and a huge condominium development is being started down the street. Apparently a lot of people from the villages fled to the capital during the Maoist insurrection. I wouldn't be surprised if the population grew by 75% over the past ten years.
A couple days back I went to Thamel, which is the tourist center of Kathmandu. It has also expanded quite a bit, but the characters and shops were mostly the same. There were still guys who whisper “smoke” or “hash” as you pass them and still merchants beckoning you to come inside their small stores. My one creature comfort that I recall fondly of Thamel were the movie restaurants where you could watch a pirated movie for free as long as you had something to eat, but I couldn't find a single one.
My host family hasn't changed much, everyone is a little older and a little fatter (myself included). My sister Karuna is married and has a cute young child of 4 who refuses to respond to any of her commands, despite the fact that his disobedience is always met with physical violence. There is a new servant girl, who is supposedly someone's relative and here to go to school, but I haven't seen her leave the house except on errands. I think I was just told this as American's often have a hard time with that sort of arrangement. My host brother is just finishing up school, and while he was an awkward youth of 12 when I was here last, he has grown up to become a shy young man. His parents' welfare will be his responsibility in a few short years.
So its been an interesting return. I really hope it doesn't take me this long to come back again.
Coming back wasn't exactly what I had expect. It'd sort of be like moving back in with your parents after being gone for ten years, except that they speak a language that you barely remember (but thankfully has come back fairly quickly). And they have money issues that they tell you about daily. And they don't knock on the doors before coming in, and if you lock the door, they might have the servant girl climb out on the window ledge to tell you something. And any time you're at the house they want to feed you (which is a sort of a plus). And when you leave the house, then random people want to talk to you. My American need for anonymity and personal space is being smothered by cultural curiosity.
These are all things that the years had softened in my memories of this place. But I have also forgotten so many small aspects of daily life that I love out here. The sense of hospitality, the slow evenings, the pleasure hosts have in making sure their guest is over-full with food, the openness to strangers. In a lot of ways I'm going through the same culture shock I went through 10 years ago. Only now I'm 30. (!)
But Kathmandu has also changed quite a bit in the last ten years. My old house, which used to be on the outskirts of town and in the middle of rice paddies, is now surrounded by houses, and a huge condominium development is being started down the street. Apparently a lot of people from the villages fled to the capital during the Maoist insurrection. I wouldn't be surprised if the population grew by 75% over the past ten years.
A couple days back I went to Thamel, which is the tourist center of Kathmandu. It has also expanded quite a bit, but the characters and shops were mostly the same. There were still guys who whisper “smoke” or “hash” as you pass them and still merchants beckoning you to come inside their small stores. My one creature comfort that I recall fondly of Thamel were the movie restaurants where you could watch a pirated movie for free as long as you had something to eat, but I couldn't find a single one.
My host family hasn't changed much, everyone is a little older and a little fatter (myself included). My sister Karuna is married and has a cute young child of 4 who refuses to respond to any of her commands, despite the fact that his disobedience is always met with physical violence. There is a new servant girl, who is supposedly someone's relative and here to go to school, but I haven't seen her leave the house except on errands. I think I was just told this as American's often have a hard time with that sort of arrangement. My host brother is just finishing up school, and while he was an awkward youth of 12 when I was here last, he has grown up to become a shy young man. His parents' welfare will be his responsibility in a few short years.
So its been an interesting return. I really hope it doesn't take me this long to come back again.
Wow, I think the most shocking thing out of all the harshly sublime and wrenching things you describe in your post is the lack of movie restaurants. I'm going into a little bit of a dark place over it. Seriously.
ReplyDeleteThanks for writing so much.